The Things We Left Unsaid by Emma Kennedy

Author:Emma Kennedy [Kennedy, Emma]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781473568532
Publisher: Random House
Published: 2019-07-31T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty-six

Rachel stuck her tongue out and stared at it in the mirror. It looked swollen and sickly, the regretful aftermath of a late night in that, on reflection, hadn’t been a good idea.

Why did I open that other bottle? she thought. Never drink alone, Rachel. Bad idea. She reached for the toothpaste and squeezed some on to her finger. That was the problem with long, warm evenings: they confused you into thinking you might be on holiday, but Rachel was not on holiday. She was on her own, trying to make sense of everything.

She was no nearer to finding out what Eleanor had wanted to talk to her about. Rachel had become fixated on a button; she had a book and a note from someone whose name began with J and who may, or may not, be nothing or everything; she knew her parents were considering adoption, but Agnes had put that concern to rest. Did any of these things matter? Was she looking for significance where there was none? Rachel heaved a sigh and pushed herself away from the bathroom sink. The hangover was making her maudlin. That wouldn’t do.

She had so many questions. She knew the maths: she’d always known her parents had got married in 1965. They didn’t have her until 1981. Why on earth hadn’t she asked her parents about their life before her while she had the chance? Fifteen years was a long time to wait for something you want so badly. Were there miscarriages? Anguished trips to the doctors? How had Eleanor felt when she found out she was pregnant? Was she overjoyed, astonished, terrified? Had Rachel been worth the wait?

She sloughed herself into fresher clothes – a pair of turquoise cotton shorts and a white, short-sleeved blouse – and padded down to the kitchen to flick the kettle on. She felt stiff, and as she waited for the water to boil she stretched her arms above her head and pressed her palms towards the ceiling. The lifting from the previous day had taken its toll. She had carried as much down from the loft as she could manage, and the kitchen table was now covered with Eleanor’s old diaries, notebooks and letters. She stared out of the window. It was yet another endless blue-sky day. Perhaps the best thing for her hangover would be to sit in the garden and read what she’d found?

The delicate velvet bag was also there, the photo of Eleanor lying on top of it. Rachel picked it up and gazed into her mother’s sad eyes. She was reminded of a moment, a dinner party long ago, where Eleanor had been arguing that time was not linear. Eleanor believed time went upwards, like layers of rock, ages stacked on top of each other.

Rachel stared at the photo. She wanted to find her mother, looking up at her from a time below. What had her mother wanted to tell her? What song had the robin been trying to sing?

She turned the picture over and looked again at the stamp.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.